To Be A Malkavian...

You see Kindred, there is a deep meaning to the clan of Malkav. Malkavians. Those who share the blood of the antediluvian, Malkav. So, so many kindred are aware of our curse, the insanity that runs from sire to childer down through the generations of our clan.

And yet, the camarilla accepts us with open arms. Why then, would the camarilla accept a bunch of psychotic, deranged fools into their midst? Why not exterminate us, or better still leave us for their greatest enemy, the sabbat? That way, we become the problem of the enemy.

I will tell you why. Because we of Malkav’s blood, like so many Kindred have a skill. A strength. An attribute that sets us apart from the other clans. A skill that is unique to us alone. And those who are wise within the camarilla’s inner circle realise that our gift is far more valuable than the brute strength of the Bruja, or the sharp politicking skills of the Ventrue. No. You see my dear Kindred, the curse of Malkav is also his blessing. And as we are his descendants, so to does it become our salvation and despair.

Complete, and total insanity.

Calm yourself, Kindred. I shall explain this antithesis in a way that your mind can understand. We are each embraced insane. As we die and are reborn, we bring back something with us… but that’s not important. We became Kindred, and in the process of doing so, we experienced something that left an effect on us more pronounced than our sire’s bite. More pronounced than the politics of the camarilla. Deeper than any memory of life or un-death, and more terrifying than any punishment that could be focused onto us, by the sabbat, camarilla, annarchs, lupines… nothing could be worse than what we have already faced. So many commented that we do not seem to be afraid of our final death. That, is truth my dear Kindred. We do not fear death, for we have already stared him in the face, given him an appropriate gesture of defiance and walked away from his powerless form.

So have you. The only thing is we remember what lay beneath his black hood, and the promises he made as he raised his scythe, only to be denied his prize. Insanity? It’s a small price to pay considering our memories. If you can think of a better way to deal with these memories, then tell us. Oh, wait a moment. You don’t remember. If you did then you would understand that insanity is not the best way, it is the ONLY way. I’ve seen things that would turn your to ash with a mere thought Kindred, oh yes. You fear the antideluvians? Pah- They are whimsical. But I stray from the important subject.

Have you ever heard of Autism, Kindred? It is a kine condition whereby one does not perceive the world as does the rest of society. An extreme sufferer may find that their ability to comprehend the world is zero. They may see a perfectly logical solution to a problem that that others may find to be cheating, or even horrific. They do not perceive the world as the rest of society does. They see one thing and draw a logical conclusion from it. Everyone else sees something that they simply cannot comprehend. Such it is with those of Malkav’s lineage.

Do you see that snowflake that falls at your window side? See the elegant six sided pattern? The beauty held in the symmetry of the edges of the pattern? Those intricate spacings measured in perfection to the last millimetre? In the intricate, six sided pattern that you see, I can find the day you will die Kindred.  

Is it really so hard to believe? Oh come now, you are Kindred! You have the abilities, to heal wounds as fast as moments, to survive a situation that no other could, to walk dominate others into your will without a single world, to hide in plain sight of a hundred, To throw a man four dozen feet? Is it really so hard to believe that I can’t see the fate of the world written in a snowflake?

The Camarilla believes it Kindred…

Of course you don’t because you could never see the world as I do. You’re ‘sane’. ‘Lucid’. You’ve got your feet on the ground, not like us lunatics who are lucky if they can string a coherent request for a can of beans together from their mismatched, warring personalities. I may be insane, but it is that insanity that frees me to the social stigmas and assumptions that your society has for so long placed upon you. It lets me see things that would drive another insane without first being in such a state of mind. So the clan rambles a little every so often. So sometimes they throw themselves to the final death for not apparent reason. But, have you ever stopped to consider what may happen if they didn’t throw away their immortality? What if that train had made itself to the city, had the driver not stopped to investigate the man he ha just run over, to find only ash? What if the hunter who was on the train with the fake I.D that would allow him access to the prince’s tower never got off the train? What if he never had a chance to use that flamethrower? What if someone jumped in front of that train he was using…

I can see it happen. So can many of my kin.

That is what it means to be Malkavian Kindred. To be utterly insane, yet to see more of reality, more levels of it that anyone else can ever hope to. But to never be able to truly comprehend what it is you actually see. Now, I hope I have shed some light on the true nature of the Malkavian condition for you Kindred.

Bearing all this mind, I’m sure you’ll understand if next time you call me a ‘nut job’ I take your eyes as well as your tongue. Oh stop screaming my dear friend; it will grow back in a few days. Although the splatter on the walls suggests to me that you may loose it again in three months time…